Rubber Ducks
by TheSummerNightingale
Summary: Lily's brought home a Muggle toy for Harry to play with during his bath. There's just one problem: James and Sirius are terrified of it.


**Hey, lovely readers :) I can't believe I haven't written a Jily fic, because they're my OTP, really. Yes, so, this was w****ritten for Round 2 of the Quidditch Fanfiction League for the Tutshill Tornados! Thanks to my teammates who read this over before I posted it :)**

**Character: James Potter. Action: To pick up.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

James Potter remembered the little duck that Lily had brought home one day, claiming it would be Harry's new favorite toy.

It was a tiny yellow thing that took up only half of his palm, but that didn't mean it wasn't strange. Oh, no. Its orange beak was obnoxiously large and obnoxiously bright. The eyes were probing, with their black pupils that stared into his soul. It was a beast. It was devilish.

Oh, yes. It was also made out of rubber.

It was a rubber duck, and James Potter was terrified of it.

* * *

"What the _hell _is that?"

"That's what I said when I first saw it!"

There was a pause that was shortly followed by a girly shriek.

"Get it off of me, get it off!"

"Don't flick it back - what the - PADFOOT!"

If anyone had walked into the Potters' bathroom at that moment, they would have been met with the strangest scenario.

Two grown men, James Potter and Sirius Black, stood in opposite corners, each with their wands pointed at, seemingly, the ground in the center of the bathroom. They wore identical expressions of pure terror and were both cowering.

"You pick it up," James commanded.

Sirius threw him a dirty look. "No! It's yours!"

"Actually, it's Lily's, but besides that, you're the one who threw it at me!"

"Because you threw it at me first! And I don't care; I refuse to pick up that-that _duck_!"

As if on cue, the yellow rubber duck teetered from its position on the floor and started to roll towards James, who yelped and hopped away.

"Why is Lily making you use that thing?" Sirius asked in both wonder and horror.

James grimaced. "It's supposed to help Harry enjoy his bath."

"_That_?" Sirius shook his head. "Not going to happen."

"That's what I told her," James said, still keeping a careful watch on the unmoving duck. "Apparently, rubber ducks are all the rage for Muggle children and baths."

His best friend snorted in disdain. "Can't imagine why. I'm pretty sure those things would give all those kids nightmares."

At that moment, the door to the bathroom opened, revealing Lily holding a seven-month-old baby Harry. She paused, taking in the scene. "Is there a reason why both of you have your wands out?" Her eyes traveled to the space where the wands were pointing at. "And why you look as if you're going to hex the rubber duck?"

"Lils," Sirius began patiently, "hate to break it to you, but you're going to scar Harry's mind with that thing."

Lily turned to glare at him. "It's a duck, for Merlin's sake! All Muggle children play with them!"

James shot Sirius an "I-told-you-so" look, and, stowing his wand back into his pocket, stepped forward to scoop Harry from Lily. "That's the point, Lily. It's a duck, but it's not alive! Why can't it just be a real duck?" He used one hand to tickle Harry's stomach, and the baby let out a delighted laugh.

"Ever heard of a toy?" Lily asked sarcastically. "Anyway," she sighed, "it's a better alternative than-"

"-the super-Prongslet baby boat?" James suggested eagerly. He and Sirius had crafted the baby-sized boat himself, which was probably why Lily didn't trust it at all.

"Yeah. That," she said unenthusiastically.

"Say, what happened to it anyway?" Sirius asked, peering around the room. "You two used to keep it in here, right?"

"It's not here anymore because James-" Lily turned and looked at James reproachfully, "-decided that it would be fun to send Harry down the stairs while riding on it."

"I put a Protection Charm on it," he protested. "And Harry loved the ride!"

Lily continued without regarding his comments. "Either way, I decided that the boat wasn't such a great idea after all, and sealed it up in my closet." She smiled satisfactorily.

Sirius looked appalled. "But Lils, the boat!"

"And the worst part is, I've done everything I can think of, and I still can't open the closet," James said miserably.

"Which is absolutely perfect," his wife countered, "and also why I don't think it's the best idea to let Harry take a bath with it."

"Aw, come on, Lils!" James begged. "How about we at least let Harry choose between the two?"

"Yeah, please?" Sirius gave her his best puppy-dog expression, which really wasn't all that hard for him.

"Fine, but only because I know he'll choose the duck." Lily rolled her eyes, but leaned her head on James's shoulder and smiled.

Sirius bounded up to Harry, who cooed at the sight of him. "Siri!" Harry babbled. "Siri, Siri, Siri!"

Sirius grinned. "You gotta love this kid." He bent his knees and stared into Harry's green eyes. "Okay, now, Harry. You're going to make a very important choice right now, and you can only choose one, okay?"

Baby Harry smiled, which Sirius took as affirmative.

"Okay! Boat or duck?"

"Pick boat, Harry," James whispered. Lily swatted his arm.

"Don't influence him like that," she said.

"Yeah, Prongs," Sirius mimicked Lily's tone. "Don't cheat." He put a hand up to cover his mouth and said quietly to Harry, "But pick the boat. Listen to Daddy. A boat's more fun to play with while taking a bath."

Either Harry thought that they were telling him not to pick the boat, or he simply wanted to defy them, because he exclaimed, in his high-pitched little voice, "Duck! Harry wants duck!"

Lily clapped her hands and reached out to pat Harry's cheeks. "Good job, Harry, good job!" She flashed a triumphant smile at James and Sirius. "See," she said smugly, "he wants the duck."

"Fine, love," James relented. "But you're picking it up."

Lily blinked. "I'm picking it up? Why does that matter?"

"Obviously," Sirius said, wrinkling his nose, "because that thing is terrifying."

She looked at him strangely. "The duck? Scary?"

James nodded vigorously. "Isn't it?"

Lily spent a moment with her mouth open, glancing from James to Sirius. She was evidently trying to decide if they were being serious or not, and when she concluded that they were, she pressed her lips together, holding back a smile. "Okay," she said, backing away from the two Marauders. "Alright. I'll just leave both of you to deal with everything, hmm?"

"Wait, what? No, Lils, we can't! The duck-" James began, reaching out his free arm towards his wife.

"I would help you," Lily said firmly, a hand on the door, "but you two honestly need to get over this ridiculous fear of rubber ducks. Even Harry seems to like the idea of them."

Indeed, the little infant was still chanting, "Harry wants duck! Harry wants duck!"

"Hush, Harry," James said, putting his index finger on Harry's tiny mouth. He pleadingly looked back up at Lily. "But the duck," he protested weakly.

"Come on," Lily sighed. "Don't tell me you're scared of a little rubber duck? Besides, I've got to do some cooking. Now that Padfoot's here, I'll have to cook twice the amount of food for lunch," she muttered.

"Food?" Sirius hopped over to Lily's side. "Food? I want to help!"

Lily glanced at him thoughtfully. "Fine. I mean, you'll have to work for your meal somehow."

"Yes!" Sirius whooped and did a careless little dance that made Harry laugh.

"Wait," James said suspiciously, rounding on Sirius. "You're just doing this so that you don't have to touch the duck!"

His best friend had the decency to sport a sheepish grin on his face. "Sorry, Prongs. But hey, I promise I'll make the best lunch you've ever had!"

"No, you won't," Lily chimed in, "because all you're doing is taking out the ingredients and setting the table."

Sirius's face fell a little. "No stove? No fire?"

"I'm not quite interested in burning down the house," Lily grinned, turning and heading out the bathroom.

"Aw, Lils!" Sirius whined, following her. His complaints faded into a small murmur as the two made their way downstairs into the kitchen.

James gaped at the empty doorway until Harry exclaimed, "Dada!" and promptly spit at James's face.

"Hey, Prongslet!" James laughed, wiping Harry's saliva off his cheek. "You little prankster." He sighed. "Time for your bath."

He walked over to the tub and placed Harry inside. "Stay," he told his son, who gave him a wide smile that clearly stated that he wasn't going to sit still. "Stay, and you get your duck," James bribed.

Harry, reminded of the word, quickly resumed his "duck" chant.

James turned and headed towards the corner with the yellow duck on the floor. He squatted and glared at the toy in the eyes. He could use his wand, obviously, to levitate it into the tub, and was just about to do so, when Sirius stuck his head into the room and said, "Prongs, Lily says you need to act like a man and not resort to using magic to help you in such dire times."

"Tell Lily that this duck's a different case!" James retorted.

Sirius scrunched up his face. "Maybe I should reword that. Lily says you're a member of the Order - act like it."

"Can't you at least help… me…?" James trailed off as Sirius darted back to the kitchen, yelling, "Lils, I told him!"

He let out a sigh and resumed his staring at the duck. Behind him, Harry was getting impatient. "Dada, duck! Dada, duck!"

"Now, now, Harry," James said, his eyes still trained on the wretched yellow object. "Daddy's not a duck."

He wrinkled his nose as he carefully extended two fingers towards the toy. "Stupid duck," he muttered just before his thumb and index finger pinched the orange beak and lifted the toy off the ground.

Holding the toy at an arm's length distance away from him, James cautiously made his way back to the tub.

"Look, Harry!" James said half-heartedly. "This is the duck. See how boring it is? Don't you want your boat instead?" he added hopefully.

Harry shook his head and reached out a small hand. "Duck."

"I give up," James murmured and gingerly handed the duck to Harry, who immediately squealed in delight.

As Harry sang something that sounded suspiciously like "Dada is a duck", James turned on the water and partially filled the tub. He sighed as he worked his hands and soap through the tangle of Harry's arms and hands clutching the toy.

Rubber ducks really weren't on his list of favorite Muggle inventions.


End file.
